I can lead!

People at the helm of affairs (at home or at work) should realize that they are responsible for the whole and not the pieces. The very idea of having a team is to share responsibilities, the role of the leader being that of one to guide team members with their tasks, make decisions (if needed) and provide the members a holistic perspective, whatever the project is; but it's never the responsibility of the leader to 'do'. However, the leader should possess enough skill to replace a member, when required. It is sometimes tempting for the leader to start 'doing' (taking on the team members' work), in case:
1. He doesn't trust his team members as his self,
2. He's a workaholic, or
3. He simply loves doing.

In any case, it's fine for the leader to replace a team member, in his absence, thus. However, it cannot be healthy for the team when the leader's time and efforts are spent this way. And, an ineffective leader is who lets the team member 'do', but in his (the leader's) terms. Here, the ineffective leader would give step-by-step instructions to the team member, telling him how to do it, without accepting to have it done any other way. In such a case, the leader imposes his learnt method upon the sub-ordinate, which not only kills the creativity of the individual, but leaves no chance to improve upon the original method. This is a flaw of philosophical proportions, since this curtails the freedom of the individual and prioritizes the method over the purpose of the activity. The ideal leader gives the sub-ordinate a big picture and nurtures the creativity of the individual to solve the problem in his own way. Delegation of this sort makes the individual confident as well as appreciative of the leader's faith in him. If one has to love his job, he needs to have an able leader. If one has to love his home, he needs to have a similar non-imposing leader at home. Let's spare people of emotional leashes. Live free and let free!

We fear, so we emote

We get angry, throw tantrums, flavour our lines with sarcasm or just give our loved ones the silent treatment. But how is it that we reserve our best behaviour for our neighbours whom we don't know, relatives whom we hate and strangers whom we needn't care for. We tend to be sweet to others while people within our homes get to see our nastiest side. We all know that we wear masks from time to time; what we think is not what we say, how we wish to react might be considered disrespectful and how we wish to behave could be socially unacceptable for others. But, why do we wear masks? If we speak and behave how we choose to, there's a chance that we would be outcast. But, why is it that what we truly are is generally unacceptable? On the contrary, why do we not be the person that we genuinely are, instead of hiding behind a mask?

The reason for this is one of man's fundamental emotions: fear; fear of being mistaken, of being lonely and of conflict. Fear induces doubt, thereby undermining strength and impeding progress. On the other side, fear prevents perilous gambles. However, on a general basis, our fears are restrictive. It is said that we are born with only two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. The rest of the fears, we have acquired.  Good luck to you to identify your fears and unlearn them. One fear unlearnt is one potential unleashed!

The seed: Storage of the highest density

Of all the technological advancements that we, humans can brag of, there's none even close to nature's least dramatic: the plant seed. A seed is defined as 'a mature fertilized plant ovule, consisting of an embryo and its food store surrounded by a protective seed coat'. I cannot imagine how much of a task this is for a being as unintelligent as a plant to produce. I marvel at the exact information on everything about the plant being stored in its seed - all of the characteristics - the height that the plant can grow to, the colour, texture and scent of the flower, the nature of the fruit it can bear, etc. If we were to store the data on the colours and textures alone, which we cannot define without the help of 65 million colours and 3D imaging with 1080p HD resolution, we would require a 32 GB flash drive. And, we don't even know how to store and reproduce smell. And, some of nature's flash drives are smaller than the nail of a newborn's pinky finger. And, when stored properly, they can be used after several hundred years - lifetime warranty!

There doesn't appear a glorious purpose to the life of plants - they aren't capable as humans to alter the course of the world, not even capable to change the ecological balance as animals. However, they are beings on whom the lives of humans and animals depend, directly or otherwise. We thrive on plants for food and oxygen, and in some cases just to bear colours that please our eyes. It's wonderful to see a seed germinate - it gives me pleasure, but don't I understand that it gives me more duty than pleasure in its welfare! A life preserved in the seed, springs out on meeting sunlight, soil and water. It's analogous to how an electrical appliance, is coded through its circuitry that defines its work and behaviour, yet needs power from an external source in order to function. Only that in God's wiring, there's nothing called a short circuit. Long live Flora!

We take returns of that we invest generations back

The thing that irks the older generation is price rise, in addition to how things have changed in the family system, and that people this generation haven't worked even half of theirs, and aren't disciplined enough - these things irritate us. They also lead us to imagine the distances they have covered by foot back in the days. Also, old people become inconsistent, irregular, abnormal and senile. And, the mother-in-law always says, "You can't care enough for my boy, the way I could". If you are an old person, understand how the younger generation sees you. Even if you don't look old due to the gym, face-lift programmes or botox applications, you can't become indispensable beyond an age, as it's inevitable to grow old.

The same younger generation gets old and the situation reverses: we feel weak and feel the need for our sons and daughters to understand our perspectives and pardon our hearing problems, while letting us be, and giving us that understanding of our state. And, this is what our parents wanted but we didn't give it to them. Let's stop and think what's happening: Young people are confident, due to physical power and emotional strength owing to a perennial income, however, the older generation being dependent on someone else are powerless, which makes them vulnerable. Weak and vulnerable people need understanding. But so are our children, vulnerable and powerless, yet so many of us take advantage of their state. If we had done unto them the scoldings, the ill tempers, the unreasonable logics, then as parents, we would reap their rewards or penalties when we are weak and vulnerable ourselves. Give your children a positive experience during their young age and they return the favour to you when you are old.

On the contrary, if we drive our parents to old age homes, we are heading there ourselves. If we disrespect our parents, we are inviting it in our own lives: what we deal unto our parents would be dealt unto us by our offsprings. No matter which generation, parenting requires sacrifice. I'm not philosophically evaluating sacrifice here, though. But, in their own method, they sacrifice. Let's understand the parents' role and give them a little support.

Why are we unhappy with our jobs?

Our dream job is always the one that we don't have. Why are our dreams distant when it concerns our profession? Let's consider this. There are three kinds of people who contribute to any business: the Thinkers, the Doers and the Negotiators. Thinkers invest, Doers work and Negotiators sell. Ideally, Thinkers are the ones that start a business, employ Negotiators as salesmen, and Doers as core employees. Doers are not risk-takers enough to start a business, negotiators don't understand the technicalities enough, and thinkers can't exert themselves enough to do. Every business has a core operation: Teaching in a school, financial analyst in a finance firm, engineer in an engineering firm - those are the doers. Negotiators are the sales people in every firm: It doesn't matter what you sell, if you have them on your side, you sell well. Thinkers are those who start the business or have the innovative ideas. Unfortunately, not in all businesses are things driven by the Thinkers, done by the Doers and sold by the Negotiators. Negotiators could be influenced by the salaries of the Software industry and turn developers, the Doers might be attracted by the gains of the businessmen and take up entrepreneurship and the Thinkers might settle for a sales job that gives them the freedom of effort.

Identify what your MDs/CEOs should be: The Thinkers should be the innovators of the industry who are free from insecurities of the business and who are open-minded and logical. Identify your Doers as people who like to put in that extra effort towards maintaining quality and who are sticklers for timeliness. Identify your Negotiators as people who are punctual to the tee and are realistic about your product. Misfits destroy the harmony of work: A Negotiator in the Doers' job shamelessly coaxes work out of a colleague, a Doer in the Thinkers' job is a strict boss who mistrusts employees, and a Thinker in the Negotiators' job is simply wasting his time. Identify who you are: What gives you more pleasure - Doing for the sake of accomplishing a task (Doer), delivering a solution through effective communication (Negotiator) or think up an innovative product / solution that enhances user / customer experience / revenue (Thinker). Everyone is a mix of all three, but one of the characteristics should be dominant. Having said all this, I'd like to impress upon the Thinkers to push and effect the change. They are the people who have to drive businesses. Here's an appeal to you to identify who you are and to act upon it. Change your job, start a business or go freelance; Ultimately be happy, knowing what you are and fulfilling that end.

Lazy for this but not for that

Spiritual gurus opine that there's a difference between trying to do and doing. Trying is a matter of desire whereas doing is a matter of committing to that desire. Why do we have a desire to do something but don't do it? We have desires to be slim and fit, spring-clean our homes, study all of English Literature classics, etc. But, we don't commit to the effort. Why? Laziness? No! Laziness is when we don't have the desire to do something. What do we call the inaction when we have the desire to action? Mood is another demon: "I don't feel like working out today", "Too much work today, let me clean tomorrow". The above excuses come to nought when the action is 'partying', 'boozing', 'playing' or 'catching up with friends'. We might not even have partied before, but the idea would sound brilliant. How are we positively disposed to such plans even if it means preparing elaborately and driving a distance to accomplish them, whereas we are 'lazy' for chores?

Our minds prioritize pleasure over duty: adjectives such as 'interesting', 'fun' and 'relaxing' are more palatable than nouns like 'work', 'chore' and 'task'. For us to commit to an action, either the action should be a positive stimulus or the outcome of the action should be, outweighing the effort multiple times over. Are we really working that hard that our minds seek relief? There's always the holiday we look forward to that finally ends up too short and the next vacation we plan much ahead for. We work for pleasure and rewards. Imagine a world without salaries - We won't work! A world of business-men and -women or a world of crime! However, this is a hypothetical situation only.

Problem is of rewards! Thoughts such as, "What's the point in cleaning my table, it'd get shabby again" and "Why clean my car, it'd get dirty anyway" crop up if the mind perceives no commensurate reward for the effort required to commit the action. Nothing in nature operates this way, except humans. I believe 'real work' gets done when we expect no reward in return for the effort - Cleanliness for cleanliness' sake, working since someone has to do it, helping since someone needs it. Love thy labour or labour at what thou lovest! Expectations mar the real fruits of labour. Start loving a thing and it becomes 'interesting', 'fun' and 'relaxing'. Love to workout and you will get fit eventually.

World's easiest creations: Opinions

I can form instantaneous opinions of people, like magic. Sometimes, they don't need to have uttered a word, their posture gives away (in 2 seconds) what type of a person he/she is and for that I could hate him/her from my gut. You should try this at home / your office / the local train. Look at a person you have never seen before and form an opinion of him/her - good person or bad person, likeable or hate-worthy. And, this is easier if we hear them talk. "Man, his English!", "Ugh! Her foul breath!!"

Our minds are constantly fishing for similarities / differences in strangers, since we are highly deterred by differences and equally appeased by similarities. We fit the person to a "certain" mould of desirable characteristics, and we judge the person's nature based on the extent of fit. Left to me, it's fine to even come to this stage, but if we go further and form an opinion of the person, he/she is then painfully categorized as a "liked" or a "disliked" person. And, obviously, a "disliked" person can only cause a "disliked" experience in us. In a relationship, to come here takes a while, but then start the tantrums, fault-finding and rifts. This process can finish over a cup of coffee, over a period of courtship or worse still, over a lifetime, the duration of the relationship depending on the extent of experiences between the two and the maturity and patience of the person judging.

I believe that it's for a life-enriching reason that people are brought into our lives; in order to create a balance, such as, there's no light without darkness, no satisfaction without craving and no joy without sorrow. Everyone on Earth is unique; no one can replace another. The presence of unique people around us, gives us a unique experience, none better or worse than another's. This subjective experience is tailored for us, based on our needs. How and by whom? I don't know! Do I like all people interactions I have? No! But, it makes me feel important to realize the effort and energy that has gone into designing my people experiences, supposedly in my best interest.

Differences between people are personality differences. That only makes us different in nature, not in quality. Glory be to the One who has delivered different people to my life, and praying He would give me the forbearance to welcome them as part of my inevitable experiences, and appreciate their presence!Thank you all!

Beggary - Like or Unlike?

I'm unable to decide if beggary should be abetted or curbed. I find the following justifications for abetting beggary:
1. We take genuine pity on their unbearable state,
2. We feel responsible in some way for their fate, or
3. We feel that as humans, we are supposed to help each other in some way.

If I were to feel like curbing beggary, I'd think:
1. That's just drama. He seems healthy to me.
2. Why can't they take up jobs instead of this self-imposed misery?
3. They must have money enough to ensure hygienic living conditions. How else would you explain their longevity?

And, the rest of them agnostics who feel that if he must beg, he must, that's his fate.

What also strikes me is that helping a beggar is not entirely selfless. If I didn't see a beggar, would I search for him and give him the money? Only because he's invading my line of vision, I might be coerced by any of the above reasons to donate money. On the contrary, if we were to take the strictest action against beggary on roads, what about begging that happens off it? Emotional coercion in relationships, sympathetic appeal to a friend, sophisticated imploration at work. That still equals forcing help out of others, akin to begging. Begging is not due to a state - fiscal, physical or emotional, but due to a mindset, that of low self-esteem. So, here, I'd like to define begging as 'forcing support by suction'. A society that believes in helping is symbiotic and sustainable, whereas, a society that believes in being helped is decadent and doomed. Independence is granted, whereas, dependence is taken. Well, I'm still unable to decide if beggary should be abetted or curbed. As humans we are sympathetic, as we are meant to be. We'd keep giving until the asking stops. Let me know what you think, in reply to this post.

Curious of Curiosity

I'm fascinated at man's attempts to understand what was inexplicable, seek what was unreachable and find what was considered lost. Be it, sending expeditions to the moon, diving deep into the sea in search of life forms, or travelling thousands of miles to discover isles. Discoveries and inventions have been successful due to the spirit of man. While zest might be the seeker's gun, the bullets need to be made of curiosity. Curiosity is the desire to learn, understand or just be plain nosy. Man starts to explore from when he is a toddler, wanting to know how things around him feel to touch, smell and taste - be it toys, insects or plain clay, clearly indicating that it's not an acquired feeling, like anger or jealousy, but something inborn. For some, curiosity is a survival instinct, the need to know what's happening. For some others, curiosity is a means to satisfy their own egos, as they strive to grapple what's not apparent. And, for the rest, who can't suffer exclusion from the neighbourhood's circle of privy gossip, it's plain nosiness. Curiosity is a function of subject, meaning, people are curious on different subjects differently. When one might have low tolerance of macro-economics, he/she could be stimulated to know what the young neighbour's wife looked like. Contrarily, there have been many successful inventions that happened not out of curiosity, but by accident, such as, Corn flakes, the Microwave oven, Penicillin, etc., however, the inventors persisted with their curiosity on the subject, but just that their journeys took them to unexpected destinations. And, definitely, successful breakthroughs need passion to sustain the efforts. Hence, what I understand is:

Skill + Passion + Curiosity might lead to Success,
Passion + Curiosity might lead to Learning, while plain
Curiosity might lead to Inaction and finally, disbelief

My conclusion is that passion renders life to curiosity. I hope I strive to seek hard while I'm at it. Wishing you passion on all that you seek too!

Definition of a friend

1. One who doesn't hesitate to apologize for his mistake, and doesn't expect a 'thank you' for his help.
2. One who pats you on the back when you are down, and doesn't stab you in the back when you are weak.
3. One who overlooks your shortcomings and forgives your mistakes.
4. One who motivates you to achieve, and discourages you when you are impatient.
5. One who doesn't mind if you are a vagrant and doesn't impose his principles on you.
6. One who could be a base jumper but cares for your safety.
7. One who does, but doesn't expect.

The above list is not complete, not even close to it. I urge you to submit your lines on friendship in reply to this post, the way you see it.

In the beholder's eyes

'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' is a true statement. Its depth startled me as I dug into what it represented to me at the time. How would I decide that something is beautiful? What is beauty? Symmetry could be beauty to one person, while an unshaven beard is beauty to another and to a different person, simply food is beauty. We are so vastly different in our minds; our preferences are different. However, what made us different is a whole new topic - if you believe in destiny, then it's our fate or if you don't, then, it's the circumstances we were nourished in. Coming back to the topic of beauty, I would consider the characteristic of beauty to be a reflection of our personalities. By personality, I mean preferences and prejudices. I cannot see beauty in an object I do not even accept as useful / worthy / innocent / any of the positive adjectives that our minds have associated with things we "like". Beauty is an acknowledgement of acceptance. For instance, if I have not accepted flowers in any of the above categories of 'acceptance', then I would not consider them beautiful ever. It's not simply about the symmetry, colours or smell of a flower that would make a person call a flower beautiful, but firstly, it is the raw fact that he/she has accepted 'flowers'. So, now that we see where beauty comes from - acceptance, the rule to making things around us beautiful and to make our own lives beautiful is to 'accept' things. Accept the enormity of work that has gone into every creation, accept the nature of people, accept the fallacies of our near ones, accept the follies of friends. By 'acceptance', I do not mean subservience or submitting to fate, but the courage to acknowledge differences.

Jump start

This author's fingers have been lolling recently, not entirely intentionally though, but mostly out of a shocking literary laziness that has set upon him. And, this is one effort to thaw him out of limbo. You see, the numbers 2, 0, 1, and 5 add to 8, which is a strange number as it represents the up-down (upside-downside, upscale-downscale, etc.) continuum that life, in general, is. I feel that "this year" is the best one to start "doing" anything, and if you do, you get into the cycle of repeating that action (or so I like to believe). And, that goes for my endless list of things to do, that grows every time I feel jealous. Well, I'm not a great believer in the power of numbers, but, hey, you got to believe in something (anything) that could move that heavy bottom. Hope you too get your list out and tick items off it. So, here's wishing you a great "doing" 2015! And, hoping to be in touch with you more than before. :-)